Ahhh, Resistance. That constrictive feeling that you think is telling you to, “Run!” That feeling that whatever you’re about to do is too uncomfortable, too scary, too much for right now…
How would it feel if I told you that Resistance is a tool?!
That pesky, uncomfortable, fight or flight feeling we call Resistance is a tool. It is a tool for growth, it is a tool for facing your fears, and it is a tool for transformation.
Steven Pressfield, the author of The War of Art deciphers the difference between being an amatuer and professional as, “An amateur is an artist who loses out to Resistance. A professional is an artist that beats Resistance, daily.” Pressfield refers to Resistance as an energy or entity that is, “a repelling force. It’s negative. Its aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”
Someone who is mastering themselves and their work is moving through Resistance on a weekly basis at the least. Because, you see, Resistance is a sign that whatever you are resistant toward is an opportunity to grow, to show up, and to claim your own profession.
So, what does one do when Resistance arises + bubbles to the surface?
Feel the fear, and do it anyway. Acknowledge that your Resistance is a tool, a sign to keep going. To go with even more courage that you may have before. Bless the Resistance you are feeling, and grow forward with your bad self.
Claim your Resistance as an important part of your process, because it is. Feeling and acknowledging the Resistance is a crucial part of being able to move through the Resistance itself.
I am so fucking excited and honored to share today’s Transformation Inspiration interview with you, because today’s feature is so inspiring to me. Perhaps I’m a little biased, as the bad-ass you’re about to meet is my own dad, but I know that even without my bias this man is inspiring many more than he knows and that ripple effect will only continue to grow.
Keith McCoy is a husband, a father and an entrepreneur currently living in Colorado raising his family while growing a wellness business with his wife. Driven by the ideals of freedom, empowerment and radical accountability intermixed with a passion to serve whenever and wherever the need arises, his book, Choose Different is just one of many ways to increase an ever-growing global ripple.
For inquiries or speaking engagements please email email@example.com
Below, you’ll find a bit of Keith’s story and where he is now written in his own words, from an excerpt of his brand new book (available now), Choose Different, and then we’ll get into this awesome interview.
“My intention with this book is to bring to light for you what I believe to be one of the most important, if not the most important, principles that defines how I move about my days, weeks and life now. It is to share with you how I was able to come from the life described above and live this – I have been married to the same amazing woman for 20 years. We have 7 (soon to be 8) beautiful kids together. Even though I tried my damnedest in the beginning to sabotage this relationship, and I certainly caused her some pain, she stuck by me. If not for her I do not know where I would be today. I will always maintain that she was the first to teach me that I deserved to be loved unconditionally. She taught me that I needed to love myself. Because of that I learned somewhere along the line that I had to take responsibility for me; for who I was and for the consequences of my actions.
I was forced to see the ripple effect my actions would cause and to hold myself accountable to those ripples. The reality is that in every single thing we do, consciously or otherwise, we leave a mark, there is a cause and an effect. In everything we do, we have a choice. We may often feel like we don’t. And as we will discuss again, feelings aren’t facts. I recently heard a quote that aligns perfectly with this concept – Reality is often harsh, but always fair. So when you step back and look at the reality of your life, if you truly want clarity, you must remove the emotion and see the situation for what it is: The result of your choices. Each choice has a ripple, a butterfly effect, that either affects us, and those around us, in a detrimental way or in a way that benefits us. We cannot get away from this universal truth. And the sooner you can realize, understand and truly appreciate that you are in control of your decisions, and that ultimately the choices you make are the most important thing in how you live your life, the sooner you can begin to live your life by design.” – Keith McCoy, author of Choose Different
Now, let’s get into this super special edition of Transformation Inspirations and get on with the interview bit, shall we?
Where were you at before you transformed your life? What was your experience, emotional state, and perspective like?
I was angry and lost. Broke and living in a victim mentality. My marriage was on the rocks and my relationship with my kids was not a good one.
During that period of your life, what did you wish for or dream of the most for yourself?
I didn’t dream or wish for anything. I didn’t believe that was really possible.
When your life began to change, what cause the shift(s) for you?
I realized that if I didn’t make a change I would lose my kids. I would most likely end up alone. I decided that radical change needed to be made immediately and so I chose to stop drinking and to turn inward. To take full responsibility of my actions and to not blame anyone else.
What did your transformation look like for you, and how did the experience feel?
I dove into Eastern Philosophy. I read Dharma Punx by Noah Levine and Awakening the Buddha Within by Lama Surya Das. In the beginning I was more angry and confused because i only realized how asleep I had been and how asleep most of the rest of us are. In my attempts to find center I only got deeper into frustration. It took a while for me to swing back and realize that the only journey I need to be concerned with is my own. And that how aware or unaware anyone else was or wasn’t really wasn’t my concern.
What practice, tool, or mindset has been the most meaningful and impactful for you along your journey?
Radical Accountability. I am the product of my choices and exactly where I choose to be. Sometimes that is an unconscious choice, or there are unintended consequences of the choices I make. But they are mine and I embrace them. The wins or the lessons, whatever the result.
Having gone through the transformation that you have now, what would you say to your past self?
Honestly? I wouldn’t talk to my old self. I have often said that 2017 me and 2005 me would not be friends. But given the opportunity to do so I would tell him to read Choose Different and let that stand on its own.
Where is your life now? What is your experience, emotional state, and perspective like?
I live a very fulfilled life. I still have unachieved business goals and things I want to do but I have clarity in how to get them and understanding that they will come when they’re supposed to and when I have learned the lessons I need to learn that will make me the person who can handle the abundance I am attracting. I have no true complaints and have learned, and still practice improving, loving what is and becoming the best version of myself possible.
Aside from my immense gratitude for my Dad, he is a living, breathing, legacy leading example of what it means to show up, choose different, and lead both the life you want to and a life that is continuously giving. If you look at your life and the state of things surrounding you and think, “I couldn’t change this if I tried, so why even try.” I hope that you can look at my dad and all of the incredible people featured in this series and know that you can Choose Different. Any moment in time can be your quantum moment. All you’ve got to do is choose.
Personal + spiritual growth, it sounds so pretty doesn’t it? It is one of the messiest things a person can journey through, and I invite you to know that the mess is the exact reason it is such a beautiful and empowering process. Many of us begin this journey because the sparkle of love + light and enlightenment look so good, and then we begin and we learn that so much of this journey is learning how to rise from the bullshit. That experience is a messy one.
I’d like to invite you to embrace the mess, and invite it to empower you. Because let’s be real, the mess is the only reason we can grow in the first place. How does a tree’s soil gain enough moisture for a tree to properly grow and thrive? Icy winter’s, stormy summers, and a whole lot of changing climates. The cold of the winter empowers the tree because the tree needs the winter snow to fall and melt. The crashing + pouring storms of the summer empower the trees in the same way, pushing the tree to take it’s roots to a place that will hold it stably, raining water into the soil for the tree to be nourished.
We’ve got icy winters and summer storms of our own and those seasons are messy, but it is within that mess that we learn. It is from the darkness that we can know light, and it is from our own messes that we can find our messages and our lessons.
There will be times where you don’t know what to say or do, and you won’t know what the right next step will be. There will be times when you feel like you’re going a little bit crazy, but damn you’re so passionate about being able to grow and be as empowered as you can be.
There will be moments when your truth will trigger someone else’s fear, and you’ll likely be named, blamed, and seen as the problem itself.
The magic is though, that we get to choose. We get to choose to play small and keep ourselves safe. We get to choose to live in our passion and take on the mess because let’s be real it’s kind of fun after the fact, and we get to choose to become what we want (or not).
Is it messy? Sure. Is it sometimes like trying to catch your breath when you’re caught in the current of a wave? Definitely.
But do you remember being a kid and finger painting off of the paper and onto the table, or maybe even yourself? Sure, you got in trouble, after a minute it was uncomfortable, but damn it was worth it to experience that freedom and creation.
Life is fucking messy! But you get to choose who you are, and how you live. So live within the mess with as much grace and joy as you can. Embrace the mess, dance with it, invite it to create (with) You.
If you have any questions that you’d like answered about this topic, leave them in the comments section down below and I will answer them on Facebook Live tomorrow (Nov. 4th, 2017) at 7 am. MST on the Riley Reign fanpage.
We’re back! Hello, November!!! And hello, You! Before we get too into this blog, I want to let you know if you haven’t heard yet, Spirit + Soul is going back to it’s regular schedule of weekly blogs and adding a weekly FB Live chat to go along!!! Be sure to like Spirit & Soul and Riley Reign on facebook to get access to those FB Lives! They will only be available for 24 hours after the live each, so be sure to follow along.
Now, everyone has some form of a personal vision. Be it a grand vision, a simple vision, or a world changing mission kind of vision. I see so many people struggling to step into that vision and begin living it out though, so how does one realize their powerful vision?
This has been something I have been personally navigating and learning through over the last few weeks especially. As I have been shedding old stories and making space for opportunity and miracles that are always surrounding me, and writing new stories for myself, I found myself asking, “But, how do I become that person?” I know that I can, but HOW?? Elevating to the next-level is scary and often integration is messy in the most perfect sense of the word, but actually getting yourself there requires a hell of a lot of getting out of your own damn way.
And also, really stepping into yourself wholly. Simultaneously.
Here’s what I’ve learned again and again in the last few weeks as I navigate my own next-level:
Ah yes, you get the results you show up for. So how do you embody your vision? How do you BECOME that person you daydream of and truly know you have everything within you to become?
Show. The. Fuck. Up.
Take the next step, and the next after that, and the next after that. Walk your path. Own your journey. Keep going. Follow your soul’s callings, and show up for the guidance.
How does the person you want to become live their life? What about their life is different, more expansive, more high-vibe, or more next-level than your current life?
That vision is your road-map. Show up for it. Follow it. Use those differences in lifestyle and presence between your current state and your visionary state as stepping stones to show up for, execute, dedicate yourself to, and you will begin to embody your vision. You will begin to become. You’ve got to choose to get out of your own way to show up for this version of you.
You’ve got to get out of your own way just enough for you to allow yourself to step into your power. You’ve got to get out of your way just long enough for you to empower yourself, get inspired, and never look back.
You have the vision. You know the way.
If you want it madly enough, you’ll show up for it in a way that will place you in alignment (and eventually embodyment) with your vision.
If you have any questions about this topic, leave them in the comments section down below and I will answer them on Facebook Live tomorrow (Nov. 4th, 2017) at 7 am. MST on the Riley Reign fanpage.
One Simple Tool To Help You Overcome A Scarcity Mindset
The mental state of having scarcity minded beliefs can be a hard habit to break, and sometimes it can be an emotional journey too. Breaking limiting belief patterns and freeing yourself from conditioned beliefs is definitely not an easy process, but it can be incredibly simple and free flowing if you allow it to be. I find that when one can make simple and empowering shifts in perspective, the journey of growth becomes a lot softer and more inspiring.
While it can be hard to break limiting beliefs like this, if you have the right tools it won’t have to feel as intense as you may have previously experienced, or as you might imagine it to feel. To make the mindset shift you need for moving out of a scarcity belief pattern, you must recognize first if your belief holds any truth. Regarding scarcity, this would mean that you truthfully don’t have what you need, you don’t have enough, or that you are not supported within your life in a way that you feel is sustainable.
Now, I’d like to invite you to take a good hard look at your life and if your scarcity beliefs are even remotely truthful to your everyday experience. Perhaps you will find that in the grand scheme of things, this scarcity is true for you. Take this awareness even deeper, right now in this moment do these beliefs apply as truth? Note how I wrote right now, this is our only real experience of reality. There is only the present moment. In this present moment, do your scarcity beliefs ring true or valid in any ways?
It is easy to do this exercise of awareness and find that you maybe don’t have enough in this very moment (i.e. ‘I have rent to pay in two weeks, so no, what I need is not here with me right now.’), but this is counter productive of the exercise. Say that you relate to the example of having to pay your rent soon and acknowledge that you do not have to pay your rent right this second. Notice that if you recognize that your rent is not due right now, and you are truly and wholly only looking at what you have and if it is all that you need in this moment, you will find that yes, you have exactly what you need for right now.
It is there that any scarcity beliefs can dissolve, disappear, and the thought patterns can be broken. You have all that you need right now. What you will need later will come to you when you need it. The truth of the matter is, that you are fully and completely supported and provided for. When you can align yourself with these truths you can open your mind and energy to opportunity for more abundance, because when your energy moves from the belief of ‘I don’t have what I need’ into ‘I have what I need right now and I know that more is on the way’ you quite literally open up space for more abundance to finds its way to you.
This practice is not overly complex or complicated, it is just a simple shift in mindset and perspective that can free you of living in a lower vibrational state. If you can practice and actively find simple shifts like this one for yourself, your life will become more vibrant and joyful with much more ease.
How will you use this tool to help you overcome your scarcity mindset this week? Share with us in the comments below!