I am so excited to feature Stepanka + her story this week on Transformation Inspirations!
Stepanka is the Women’s Talks founder. The moments of her own healing, coaching, and seeking of motivation inspired her to create a safe space for healing through sharing where you can clarify the right direction of your personal development and find energy to fulfill your dreams.
In her own words, this is the story of Stepanka’s transformation…
“As a child I have seen a lots of violence and addictions around. And as all kids do I perceived it as a reality. The more pressure was put on me, the more introverted and windrow I was. My grandfather was pedophile and alcoholic. My father was a strong man, who was using an alternative methods such as yoga, meditation and Chinese medicine to heal himself. It was in times when these tools were not as popular as they are now. He was fighting for what is right inside of himself but the systems inputs were still strong and he was using strong physical punishments on me and my brother. When I was 18 I started to listen to my intuition and moved to New Zealand. I went through my own personal struggles. Ups and downs, tiring to find the reason why am I here. I got married and had my baby girl at the age of 23. I knew it will be turn over in my life and it was. When she was two years old, and we started to have interaction as two human beings I have faced what my father had to face. I was using similar up bringing methods as my parents did. One part of me wanted to stop and another was like auto pilot. That was the time, when I started to pray for the first time. I asked for help and lead to change. Everything started to change.
I found the book You Can Heal Your Life written by Louis L. Hay. For one year and a half I was on daily basis doing all the exercises that were written in that book. I went deeper and deeper and when I felt it is time to ask for another guidance I have found therapy. I have healed the deepest traumas and felt it is time to move forward. That was time when coaching entered into my life and I have started to focus more on the future than on the past. While I was going through the coaching training, I have fully forgive my father. I took him to my garden, looked into his eyes and told him I forgive him. He started to cry and asked for forgiveness. We have met in some amazing place where we both made decision to let the past go and took full responsibility for our life and the actions we take in our life. From that moment I have started to follow my own path of freedom and I have started to work hard on to build my life. I keep continuing to study, I create projects like www.womens-talks.com which motto is: Openness and sharing heals.” ~ Stepanka Hjodova
Now let’s get into Stepanka’s insightful + compassionate interview…
Where were you at before you transformed your life? What was your experience, emotional state, and perspective like?
I was constantly lost and I was experiencing big ups and downs. Confusion was present all the time. Deep inside I was craving for love, but on the outside I was trying to fit in and be accepted. I was suppressing emotions. From my perspective all the so called negative emotions was fault of people around. I didn’t understand that I have to focus on myself and change my own feelings. True forgiveness and compassion. I was blaming the whole world for my bad state. I thought when I lose weight or in any other way look more beautiful, as the magazine says, I will gain more love and acceptance. Also after the transformation I have gained some inner peace and I thought this is how it is going to be forever. I was happy in that state, I have never experienced it before. What was surprise to me was the strong energy that came afterwards. It took me awhile to understand that it is passion. That it is the creative energy I need to use for sharing my gifts with others. For some time I was channelling it as aggression because I had no idea what is going on. I was craving my peace back and I thought I did something wrong. I was afraid that I am going back and that my personal development has failed 🙂 Just when I relaxed and found the courage to start some work based on my visions and ideas that excites me, I have realised that the strong energy is not step back but forward. Recently I have made an interview with Buddhist nun Emma Slade/ Pema Deki and she brought even more clarity into what is happening to me and I suppose many other who do yoga and meditation to again some peace and clarity. That inner peace is great and is necessary for to deal with some traumas, and gain some clarity about what is our next steps, but the point is the life energy what comes after that. That inner peace is just one stage on the spiritual path. The next one is the force that drives us to create amazing things in this world such as creating healing programs for others, or some art or whatever your gifts are. This is a big turning point for me right now. When we manage that, another level of clarity with joy appears.
During that period of your life, what did you wish for or dream of the most for yourself?
At the beginning it was simply to survive. I was facing total loss of one self. I was imagining myself as dead which was the only way I gained some inner peace. At that moment I knew I have to do something, learn something and change to live. I was fighting for my life. It took me 6 months daily practice to come to at least one day per week to feel o.k. to feel inner peace and to be free of pain. Than it quickly became two days and so on. So for me it was inner peace and clarity. I wanted to be able to give my children love without violence and fear. Back than I had really day by day goals. I wanted to expand the inner peace just for one more day of the week. I have never went for medication as I felt I would work it out myself. I felt it was important to build my own strategy so it stays life long. So love, peace, clarity.
When your life began to change, what caused the shift(s) for you?
I hope I am still at the beginning 🙂 That there is way more for me to unfold 🙂 But the milestones would be the birth of my daughter. The beginning of interaction with her. The forgiveness ritual with my father. That was a strong shift as it was for the first time in my life when I did something with all my heart. With all my being I wanted to leave the hate, blame, pain and just feel love towards him and myself. It took a lot of exercises to be able to feel again. Lots of crying and releasing aggression before the forgiveness moment. Also going for the coaching training was a big shift, because I did for the first time in my life what felt right for me. I have overcome my fear of people and I have met a lots of amazing friends with who I am in touch till now. All those were big moments for me. To step out just with who I am really, loving, happy, sometimes angry, sometimes sad me who is o.k. for being myself.
What did your transformation look like for you, and how did the experience feel?
For me it was like being reborn. I literally felt like some part of me is dying and I have to build all new of myself. It was scary as I had no idea where to start or what to do. I come from a really small city in Czech republic where you don’t have access to some therapy community. So I just went on my knees and started to ask for help. I was in chaos but something led me to find psychology help in other bigger city. So I made appointment and went there. After I told what is going on to the lady, she offered me medication. I said no thank you and left. But what I remembered was a book she proposed me to read. I was so stressed that I couldn’t remember the right name of the book. I started to tell the lady in book store some words that came on my mind like love and so on and she gave me the You Can Heal Your Life book. I suppose it was my intuition, God, universe and my determination to change .. that led me in that time of chaos. After some time of work with the book I was strong enough to study more about what is the difference between psychology and psychotherapy and I was able to find a man who was trained in both of them. I was travelling an hour by car to come to his sessions. So it looked like reborn to me and felt like chaos with glimpses of clarity about what is the next right step to do.
What practice, tool, or mindset has been the most meaningful and impactful for you along your journey?
It has been changing during time. My transformation started when I was 25 and as I said at the beginning it was the decision of going on my knees and asking for help. I guess I have opened myself to the fact that there is some other, more conscious energy that can lead me through my healing process. The big determination to change was another huge step for me. I have stopped to focus on others and I started to focus on myself. The book from Louise L. Hay and its exercises helped me with that. Later it was the support of the therapist which lasted for two years. When the deepest healing process was done, it was life coaching that helped me to learn how to work with the new energy I have gained. I was learning how to set up goals and how to create action steps. I have learned how to focus on future rather than past. So it is combination of tools for me. Self help practice, therapy, coaching. All of that has helped me to trust my self and my own intuition, guidance. Also it helped me to learn how to deal with challenges we all keep facing in our life. But still, as I said I am on my path and I believe I will learn more and experience more. This is just one part of the journey.
Having gone through the transformation that you have now, what would you say to your past self?
Everything is o.k.
Where is your life now? What is your experience, emotional state, and perspective like?
I am going through transformation right now. I am learning effectively direct the creative energy to projects that are useful for others but for me as well. It is challenging as I am not just having interviews with other people but I am being invited for interviews my self. It is a new position for me and I am learning to enjoy going out there and shine 🙂 I am by nature introverted person, but as I am at the face of expansion I am happy to welcome the extroverted part of me right now. I am meeting a lots of great inspiring people right now and sometimes it might be overwhelming. As with any new project and new position you put yourself into, it brings challenges, emotional ups and downs, fears and so on. It might be a bit pressure at times not just on me but on the whole family. On the other hand this time I know what is happening to me, and I just keep swimming with the peace in my heart that everything will fall into its palace. I will become more comfortable every time I stand in front of camera and every time I meet another amazing soul. I see myself like someone who is finalizing this healing journey I have started 6 years ago. When I do step out fully and completely as ME, on every level of life. Private and public. And it all is reflected on the work I do. Soon the emotional state will settle and I will see what is there for me next.
You guys! Stepanka is such a bright light! I love the subtle reminder that is strung within this interview as well: the reminder that the transformation doesn’t quite ever end. There is always more growing, expanding, and learning to be done if you are willing!